The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I am going to start a collection of quotes here on physicians - some grasp the grace and altruism of the profession, while others humorously mock the role that they play. If you find any good ones - the good, the bad, or the ugly - send them over to me. This is always good for a little motivation or a good laugh! 

The Good
•  "In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men." - Cicero

•  "One of the essential qualities of the clinician is interest in humanity, for the secret of care of the patient is in caring for the patient." - Frances Weld Peabody

•  "To be a doctor, then, means much more than to dispense pills or to patch up or repair torn flesh and shattered minds. To be a doctor is to be an intermediary between man and God." - Felix Marti - Ibanez

The Bad

•   "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." - Erma Bombeck

•   "You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten." - Earl Wilson

•   "I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed the doctor's office was full of portraits of Picasso." - Rita Rudner

•   "A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running." - Groucho Marx

The Ugly

•   "My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more." - Walter Matthau

•   "When I told my doctor I couldn't afford my operation, he offered to touch up my X-Rays." - Henny Youngman

•   "Finish last in your league and they call you an idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you 'Doctor.'" - Abe Lemons

•   "Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too." - Anton Chekhov